Godly expectations from spouses






Gen 1:26-28

Marital wellbeing should be prioritised above everything else. It is the engine that makes everything else in the dominion mandate thrive. God said, let us make them in our image, then He blessed them and commanded them to have dominion.

Marital wellbeing should be prioritised over career etc. Career, academic, ministry fruitfulness etc. All fruitfulness is on the back of marital wellbeing. Marital wellbeing is the engine of your life, pay close attention to it.

There are expectations that God has placed in a marriage that one must adhere to, as you pay close attention to the engine called marriage, things will function correctly.

1 Cor 11:3-5, 10-12

Angels operate where there is unity and oneness.

1 Cor 11:3

God expects every man’s head to be Christ (Headship)

Leadership starts with setting the example. It is important in the hierarchy of marriage that the man is submitted to Christ the same as Christ is submitted to God. The man sets the tone by ensuring his submission to Christ is intact. The submission a man has sown to Christ is the same that he would receive from the wife. Submission is not demanded, it is given and the man receives it.

The submission of the man to Christ is the right foundation for the home. Jesus is the Lord of the man and he is responsible for all of the man’s wellbeing and protection. If Christ is the head, meaning the Lord, then a man is to do nothing of himself but represent his Lord. If Christ is your head, do you represent Christ in your home (to your wife and children)?

The woman aligns under her husband to receive the covering of the Lord. So even in her decision making it is not about the man but his Lord.

God expects the man to love his wife Eph 5:25

Christ was selfless when He came to His bride, the church. He died for the church and paid the price for their sins. Whilst we were sinners, Christ died for the church. Christ did what was needed by the church. Similarly, a man needs to do what is needed to assist his wife rather than what is convenient for him. God expects the man to choose selflessness over personal interest.

Eph 5:26-28

Selfless love will command trust and submission. Trust is sown through love. The sacrifice of the man's love is that his wife becomes her best. An actualised church glorifies Christ. The glory of an actualised wife is the man, renew your mind.

John 14:12

The desire of Christ is that the church does greater things than He did. Be an enabler to your wife.

Woman – God expects help rather than mere companionship.

Gen 2:18

God said it is not good that man should be alone, man was not lonely. Man did not ask for a helper, rather it was God’s idea. This is because the purpose and assignment of life will be more effective when it is done by 2-people. Two of them is necessary to be effective.

The help is viable and visible.

Help in the Hebrew means Ezer.

Ezer means help with a different skill set and weaponry, help in distress.

1 Pet 3:7; Gen 2:23


God brought the animals to Adam and he correctly called them the names God had already called them. Following this, God brought the woman to him and he correctly recognised that Eve, is the bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh, she was taken out of him.

Similarly, every man has the responsibility to discover and gain clarity and understand his wife by revelation. If God could reveal the names of the animals to him, He can reveal and articulate your wife to you, as this is your responsibility to discover your wife. Adam received knowledge of Eve by revelation; he learned the names of the animals and to tend and keep the garden by revelation.


See your wife as valuable and significant.

Gen 17:17-19

God validated Sarah’s position by emphasising and establishing His promise and covenant through the birth of Isaac from the union of Adam and Sarah. The assignment is a collaboration between the man and wife. Honour your wife.


Pray for your wife. Every man prays.


Rom 12:1

Submission is not surrendering but to come under the hierarchy where Christ is the head. Forceful submission is not correct and acceptable to God. Submission is not forced but given, by the woman who has knowledge.

Marriage is a benefit, every conflict is to bring you both together. You must not fight your helper/your headship, work together in harmony.

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